I started to draft up an email to him, though any break up will be in person, and I realized that the first couple years with my husband were spent dealing with him grieving his last relationship. The symptoms are so similar:

the irrational lengths he went to just to keep her insulated and comfortable...

the obsession in making sure they have the "best friendship possible" at the expense of me, the new lover...

the allowing the ex to lean on him so hard for support, whether it be financial, emotional, or simply domestic...

my desire to be cool and laid back and understanding, at the expense of my own sanity...

the desperate attempts to pin point where it fell apart

the separating realities between the ex and me...

Yeah it's becoming very apparent that he needs some time to heal on his own. I do believe that was the ultimate downfall in my marriage, he became codependent on me/my happiness as a replacement for his ex, despite not being "the type" and looking back I would have rather never dated than gone through what we did. I have to let this one go and that hurts me so much, but I'd rather not have to figure this out years from now.