Dear Diary,

Today, I had complete strangers insinuate that I’m some table destroying psychopath, all because I got mildly cute trying to explain how this particular table setup is ripe for destructive vandalism due to already literally shaky supports holding it up, some very obvious points of failure, and threatening to collapse entirely through means of a relatively concealable and simple to use tool I could see myself handing to a teenager. To counteract my apparent jihad against picnic tables, they instead decided to debate me on the grounds that you can also destroy wooden tables too, with big heavy sharp things that would take Joe Vandalism a small portion of eternity and a lot of hard labor to pull off. I complained about how easy it would be to take apart a table, on a forum about cutesy but impractical design, and my only response has been “you fucking sicko, you can maul any bench you can put your mind to.”

So overall, it’s been a great day.