Yeah same I was about to say.

It's actaully kind of nostalgic for me reading these posts.

It's been 25+ years.

Now I feel cringe even thinking it if only due to how prevalent it apparently is. If I knew it was something so common back then I wouldn't have given it near as much weight and attention as I did. I still to this day lean on Nietzsche quotes a lot due to him being the first sign of "light at the end of the tunnel" (which I now cringe at as an obvious mirage; a cure for a disease we are only pretending to have).

I am not saying it's not real for those it is real for. I often see the world as an abyss to this day. Who wants to be a person anyway? If I'm not real, that means I'm free in ways I can't understand.

I much prefer dpdr to speedboat lifestyle. The wrestling with my own self imposed restrictions were 10,000 times more fun than the all the cool kids are doing it path. A healthy compromise is best. "I might not be real but I'll pretend to be for your sake" - best philosophy in that sense.