Something that has always bothered me about the housework one, is that there has to be some compromise if one person doesn't normally live up to the standards of the other. If it's something truly disgusting then yeah OK, but for example let's say I've lived alone for years and I have no problem leaving dishes to soak overnight and doing them in the morning. I get in a relationship and she needs to have them done immediately after dinner, and she resents me for leaving them. They aren't bothering me, why is it now my problem? Or there is some recycling by the door that I really don't care about, but she suddenly gets a bee in her bonnet over it and she expects me to drop everything, right now, to take it down with her when I'm trying to relax. I didn't demand that you help me while you were trying to relax, I never have and never will do that, so why is it OK to do the same to me?

There has to be some give and take. If something doesn't bother me, is it fair to demand that I do it anyway? If I'm in the middle of something, even if it's a leisure activity, is it fair to demand that I drop it when she wants the chores done? That's the one that drives me the most crazy. I know the garbage has to go down some time today, I fully plan on doing it, but it really pisses me off when there is demand and guilt for having to take it down RIGHT NOW. "I can't relax until it's gone", well that sucks because I can.

I will go out of my way to clean / pick up things that, if I were alone I wouldn't give a shit about, to show that I care, but sometimes it just bothers me that there's this assumption that if you don't follow the other person's rules, it's not because you have different needs, it's because you're lazy or messy or something.