Yes, I think I gave them a chance to see who I was; the issue was that my traits that I highly valued didn't really matter to them.
I gotta say I think this is bound to come along with a high self worth. Even in a relationship where both people care each person is bound to have different aspects they like. Although that is a bit different than traits you don't like being the forefront of choice.
The only suggestion I can make in situations like that is to date less. Get to know people as friends and learn those things before choosing to date.
Urghh you INFJs. You are not bothering her at all. It's important that you not keep these things bottled up inside or you'll grow to resent her.
This is not something I have heard mentioned very much. At least I have heard that you shouldn't keep things bottled up but the outcome of growing to resent someone is not mentioned much. I've only learned this firsthand, the worst way, and am starting to be upset at her for no reason, e.g. no change to how the relationship is. Within my last comment I have come to the conclusion that I need to talk to her no matter how hard. Plus usually the hard choice is the correct choice.
Aside from bothering her I do worry because some of the things I would mention, reasons behind why I feel certain ways, are related to her actions or lack of in some instances. Depending on my wording I could come off as worrying too much or attacking who she is as a person.
You don't have to be completely 100% feels with her all the time. That is good and something I wouldn't want to be anyway. I often dont' like my emotions just because the lack of control. I try and come at situations logically and analyzing my emotions logically often doesn't work. Too many things I cannot change even if I understand and want to.
Maybe compliment her whenever an opportunity arises, but leave it at that.
That's an even harder one to do. I can only remember one time I have complimented her and complimenting people is not something I do, at all. But thanks for the suggestion, it is something I need to work on. I know how much I like compliments.
I just wanted to say thanks. Even though I kind of got talking off topic I appreciate that you have shared your insight from your own life. This has been on my mind recently, as to what actions to tak, and I usually do search for outside input from INTJs, over at personalitycafe, I didn't this time. So thanks again.
I'm hoping to talk to her soon. She knows I could be feeling better and told me to tell her when I was ready to talk. Even then I was unsure if I wanted to or should.