I truly regret spanking my children when they were young. The research proves it was a dumb thing to do. We have four children (18 to 24 years old now), and I told myself that I reserved the punishment of spanking for when they'd done something truly dangerous. I spanked my oldest son for lighting fire in the bedroom when he was 5. He's 24 now. I didn't spank him in anger. I knew deep down that spanking was traumatic. I believed that the trauma would etch a memory in him that would protect him. I don't think I was a terrible parent. I took my kids cross-country camping in national parks for 9 weeks one summer. I am proud of giving them that positive experience, but I clearly gave them a negative experience, too. I know firsthand what physical abuse is. With my father, there was no wide open hand, and the shots weren't aimed at my ass cheeks. If the sound of your father's car engine from a quarter mile away makes you want to hide in terror, you know what I am talking about. I was 100 percent committed to not becoming what he was as a father. What I did was wrong.