Secondly, ambushes and multi-target fighting is inherently unrealistic for a game that is supposed to be about realism
Everything "realistic" is better explained as simply being immersed in being Henry. If a game was strictly realistic for the sake of it, that game will be terrible because nobody would play it. Kingdom Come does it in an interesting way because you are immersed to live as Henry would, going around bathing, sleeping, and eating his way to victory. Doing those things are only there to stop yourself from getting bad stats on your character, like your head bobbing because you're sleepy or you have low stamina because your stomach is empty. Some perks even allow you to work with those features; there's a perk that gives you bonus stats if you don't overeat or go hungry within five days. However, you can go to the bathhouses to replenish both hunger and energy, so you technically don't have to sleep or eat at all if you go to bathhouses which are not realistic when the benefits they offer is a physician for your wounds, cleaning your body, and laundering your clothes, and not food or a place to sleep. Immersion =/= Realism but Immersion stems from the want of Realism.
but if you're in full plate armor I doubt the random stick wielding villagers who are somehow combat masters, riposte most your attacks and perfect block everything else will be much to you
They will only riposte your attack if you give them a chance to do so. Plus, most of them have halberts, axes, and wooden weapons, so your attacks, if they block it, will hurt them regardless. Compare that to Knights which they have protection, an actual steel weapon, and training to spare, the villagers will be MUCH weaker in comparison. And if the villagers didn't have the ability to Master Strike, they would be incredibly boring to fight at early levels and they would be straight-up pointless. It's not realistic but it's fun and challenging.
Finally, although I am probably forgetting some things, the archery in this game is awful, yes you can get used to it but again, for a game about realism they didn't make archey hard in a realistic way.
If you can get used to a bad feature which then makes it good, then it's just a good feature, to begin with, that requires you to go over the learning curve. As for the sway, I actually think it's semi-realistic because while you're aiming your shots, you will have to go against the sway which simulates shaking. I have missed many shots while trying to go against the swaying. However, now that I've played with the bows for a long time and am Rank 19 with it, I can be patient when aiming my bow so that I don't miss; Unlike at the beginning where I had to force myself to aim with the sway being an issue.
As you get better at archery, you will see the sway as a way to exercise your patience. Having a shaky aim is realistic but also boring. Swaying camera isn't realistic but it is immersive to how archery is like; you never have a perfect shot unless you exercise patience and wait until you have one.
some people defend the combat while at a low level by saying that Henry is just as inexperienced with a sword as everyone else, which is true in some cases but let us not forget that before the game even starts Henry has been getting some weapon training from the guy in Skalitz
And with those many inciteful training montages, he couldn't even cut a branch. A simple branch. I guarantee that if you give me a razor-sharp sword forged by a Master Blacksmith, with my many zero training, I could at least get a few cuts into the branch, if not a full slice. He tapped it twice and it fell over. With the mercenary in Skalitz, he learned how to swing his wooden sword in a way that connects with the enemy. He didn't learn jack shit about learning the weight of the weapon and he has zero experience with real fighting. So yes, it's actually realistic that you suck ass at fighting in the beginning.
As for Sir Bernard, that's when people can choose to train with him. People who ignore him will have a tough time fighting because they know nothing. IF they train with him, THEN Henry will be good at fighting because he would have practiced, which is a realistic way of going on about it.
I love this game as well, with 56 hours in the bank, and I thought the fighting in the beginning was so bad that it was annoying. Then I went to practice in a safe space with Sir Bernard, and now I can clear a bandit camp that has 12 bandits in it, if not more. With some planning before striking, of course.