also a little bit of a vent: my supervisor made me feel like I have to do all the courses now but talking to other students I realised I did not have to do it all in my first year

I understand the pressure a first-year Ph.D. student feels when their supervisor "suggests" that they should take a course. But finally, it's your decision. I don't mean to harp on you, and I totally get that navigating these things can get tricky, but it was totally your responsibility to figure out which courses you need to take in your first year.

I could be wrong, but I wonder if you're expecting more guidance from your supervisor than what is considered typical at a Ph.D. level. It can get difficult to figure out the level of autonomy you have as a Ph.D. student, especially if you're coming straight out of college, or with little industry experience. Do you think you could chat with someone further along in the program about where things are going wrong? Because we on Reddit don't know the specifics of your university and your advisor, any suggestions we give will be very generic. It's always good to discuss these things with someone else in the program. It could also be another faculty member you have a good relationship with.