I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Cancer sucks so much let alone during a pandemic. The fear/resentment/anxiety you are feeling is totally normal. My doctor gave me some anxiety medication that I would take on days when things got overwhelming. Also therapy really helped me during diagnosis/treatment, I hope that is an option for you.

Have you done genetic testing? In the US at least they test women diagnosed at our age, since genetic mutations are more common. Also what's the hormone status of your tumor? What type of chemo will you get?

If you like reading, there's a cool new book Radical where the author writes a sort of mini history of breast cancer and also documents her own journey. It is a good starter guide.

You got this!!!