I can relate. The first person to offer me alcohol was my dad. We were going to watch Titanic in a theater (so a long long time ago) and he took me to a bar before we went to the theater where he ordered me a beer. I was 18 at the time. He was a drinker and was eager to introduce me to it. Long story short, I hated it and he was probably disappointed coz I couldn't have more than a couple of sips. I hated the taste. That year I was in college. Made a lot of friends and almost all of them drank. Every party revolved around alcohol and I had to find a way to down this nasty poison. I tried my best and I remember I used to puke every time for the first couple of years. But by the third year I was able to not only drink but become the life of the party. Then came the two years of masters degree and drinking every day became second nature. Then it was a part of life. I blacked out most every time but still managed to find a career and everything. Every action becomes influenced by it. You wait for the evening when you can sit alone with your poison of choice. Nothing matters once it kicks in. I am typing this as I'm drinking and seeing your post. I wish I would've just listened to my body and not have forced myself to get into this habit. It takes everything away slowly. Slowly you'll lose your will to do anything. All you will wait for us that numbing that it provides. You'll wake up the next day with a great full of fog and by the time it clears you're ready to pour another one. Titanic released in 1997. I am surprised I'm still alive.