Been having a rough month, I cry at my job often and have been going home early a lot more than I used to. When I'm not at work I can't get anything in my car done, I try to clean and organize but never finish. Thought a lot about what I want to do with my life and if I want to get out of the car life and I do but have no real motivation to do so because I have no motivation for anything in my life. Tired of life, researched how to buy a shotgun in my state and there's basically no restrictions maybe this is a sign but I also finally scheduled a psychiatrist appointment that's today so I will wait. This world is not for weak people like me, I'm tired. Fuck this soup.