You can't forget that there are shades of grey, you can't be 100% alpha all of the time. I've found that 75% "alpha" and "%25 ")beta" is a good standard for plates and LTRs.

Women need emotions, stoic all the time doesn't work. They need some hints that you care, and intimacy (ie cuddles, compliments, hints that you "miss" them, honest apologies if you fuck up and token inexpensive but thoughtful gifts if you want the relationship to go smoothly).

Like everything, there are shades of grey - trp and MRA have a black/white zero sum outlook too often.

I just avoid politics/MRA and such discussion and focus on good times. If they bring up feminist shit I just treat it like a shit test and dismiss with a counterpoint or agree and amplify, redirect the convo. They get mad usually but they get over it quick and usually start to try to "win you back" when you hold ground/withdraw attention and this results in good make up sex and you carry on like nothing ever happened. There's no point in trying to debate them, you can just gradually make little points that'll chink their armor over time, attacking feminism directly gets them defensive and the hamster goes into overdrive. It's a delicate balance, for sure; but one thing I've noticed amongst them all is comments like "you're a (real) man, I like that, it's rare" or "I love it when you do manly things for me".

If gender roles mean I can do simple repairs/carry stuff for her (which gives me a sense of accomplishment) and have her trade her nurturing femininity (tending my injuries or giving backrubs) I don't see how it's anyone's business to minimize our agency, as it's generally more than a transactional relationship.

Outcome independence and preelection/dread go a long way too.