I've had plenty of mediocre sex, but as a dude I'm usually content with a girl who just starfishes and let's me do my thing. However, I once had a girl that was so bad that I actually faked it...

Long story short, the girl from the beginning was disappointing and also making things difficult. She was super passive and lazy with the foreplay and made me turn off the lights enitrely. She was a pro triathlete so I was expecting her to be pretty fit, but was pretty let down when she took off her clothes, although she didn't seem to have an confidence issues about it. As soon as we got started she proceeded to just play dead, but then would occasionally move at weird times and reposition herself into hard, awkward angles. She works in a school and has learned to not cuss, which made for some bizarre things said when being vocal. Also she would be vocal at strange times, so it was hard to get a read. When she seemed close, she would just get quiet again or move in a strange direction. It didn't seem like she was trying to get me to hit a spot either, each time it was different.

Anyway, I decided to cash it in and just finish up, but as soon as I started getting close she would suddenly try to take over, but with zero rhythm and also no clear understanding of the physics of it all. She was moving diagonally and such and kept pulling me out. I tried to get there without vocalising to see if she was just trying to prolong me, but she turned on her spider senses and managed to repeat the feat twice more.

Finally, I flipped this girl into missionary and basically hog tied her, pressing her knees to her shoulders with all my body weight. As I got close I let go of one leg and tried to hold onto the other, but she managed to then squirm sideways and pull me out, yet again. As soon as I put it back in I pretended like I was busting, grabbed the top of the condom like it was full and sprinted to the bathroom to flush it. I was so frustrated that I wasn't even blue balled, and when I got back into the room she told me that "oh, btw, I have HPV", and then started crying and telling me some sob story about it.

Fuck. That was awful. The worst part is that I have to see her pretty regularly because we have mutual friends. So badz