The manic guy IS you.

You didn’t change for yourself. She wasn’t enough for you to change either.

What DID pull an effort?

HER LEAVING YOU.

So let her leave, obviously it’s for the better. You are now seeking help.

Tell her you need her to leave because you’re not happy with her. (You weren’t else you’d act like it)

No matter what reason you have to be depressed, it’s never a reason to be mean to people we love. It’s horrifying to do that and she will need time go process too, which is why she’s still lingering, she wants the good parts but she knows the bad parts are bad and she can not really see how truly bad and disrespectful you are to her once she steps way the fuck back.

You don’t get in a relationship until you feel like you can control your childlike tantrums. Can’t imagine what stupid shit they were over but I’m sure you learned your lesson.

Please let her go. Please move on. Say you’re sorry and go.