No need to bring my feelings into it; yours are already plenty to think about. I was pointing that out because your natural phrasing can be a hint at how you feel about what's going on.

Commenters are calling you out as irresponsible with your finances and saying you should have been more on top of things. Maybe I'm reading too much into the passive voice thing, but I think maybe you already knew you were bad with money.

You said the only extravagant things were the Raptor and the Benz, and your house was easily affordable, but there's a whole lot of money unaccounted for. The expensive gaming setup (that you didn't mention in the post here) is a clue that you have a bunch of smaller purchases adding up to an expensive lifestyle.

What you need to figure out is, how much of the unaccounted-for money is from your (or your ex's) irresponsible spending, and how much might still be hiding in some other savings account that was supposed to be shared with you?