So, let me give you a little glimpse from the other side. Different situations, but similar positions. My sister in law and I were both pregnant around the same time. She was 2 months further ahead of me. She is 10 years my junior. I was so ready for my baby. I had wanted to be pregnant for over a decade. I had waited so long for it to be my turn. Losing my baby was horribly traumatic and for months and months I didn't want to think about babies, look at babies, hear about babies.

Then my SIL had her baby. It hurt SO much. That should be me, it's my turn! I stopped following them on FB, my husband knew not to bring it up. I planned not to go to the in-laws for the holidays. But at no point did I ever have feelings of ill will towards my sister in law. I didn't want to see their baby, because it would hurt too much, but I would never want them to experience one less morsel of happiness, and certainly would never want them to feel guilty about my pain.

I know it will be hard for everyone to handle, but please don't hold yourself responsible for their unhappiness. They surely don't. Just because they can't be there for you right now, doesn't mean they don't wish you all the happiness in the world.