I’m going through a similair situation. It’s so difficult to find out the behaviorisms we learnt to survive in an abusive relationship, are now hindering a healthy one! I’ve found out that I was stopping myself from taking time for myself in my previous relationship, scared it would cause an argument about me neglecting my ex. Now, I do this with my current partner and it’s incredibly self-destructive. He’s had to tell me multiple times that it’s ok to want time for yourself, that I don’t have to spend every waking hour pleasing him and taking care of his needs. My needs and wants are just as important, too. And so are yours.

If you’re scared you’ve upset your partner, talk to them about it. Try and find where your triggers are and communicate them with your partner, hopefully your partner can help rationalize how you feel and assure you that you no longer have to be in “survival mode” in order to make the relationship work.

You’re worthy of love, and making the odd mistake won’t change that. I wish you and your partner all the happiness in the world ^.