he couldn't trust her. her loyalty was to her family and the life. she's not Barbara, who essentially left the family to try to be normal. Finn was disposable. eventually he would have been forced to compromise his morals his ethics and probably cover up somebody's crime or keep someone's secrets...he might even end of dead. meadow has to be with someone in the life, like her, she has to be with someone who is willing to assume the risk and the ultimately the unavoidable reality of what that all means. meadow didn't want out Carmela should have let her go to Berkeley but meadow didn't really want to go to Berkeley she wanted the easy life and the money, just like all the sopranos, the one one not making a conscious choice is AJ...he's too week and he's too dumb to know