Closest instances in real life would be the 1991-93 Colombo war, the Five Families mainly just warned their members to steer clear of Colombo members in order to avoid being caught in the crossfire. John Gotti and Joe Massino low-key backed Vic Orena but nothing substantial. Things were pretty dysfunctional among the families at that time. In the aftermath the Commission considered breaking up the Colombo family. Ultimately they were happy to mop up the rackets in the fallout.

The other instance would be when Vic Amuso of the Lucchese family famously gave the order to 'whack' the Lucchese's Jersey Crew. The Jersey Crew all went into hiding and the boss Accetturo turned government witness.

In the Sopranos universe I think Butchie would've double-crossed Tony and the Five Families wouldn't bother getting their hands dirty.