my mom thinks I didn't cry when I was in the hospital. I was bleeding internally for 12 hours, screaming in pain, but I didn't cry. I had contracted a blood clot in my brand new kidney transplant that they eventually have to remove. I had the transplant a total of four days.

I didn't cry when the surgeon told me either, my family did. I only cried when I was alone for an incredibly stupid reason.

they had taken me out of the ICU to the kidney transplant floor of the hospital for my recovery. but they had to put me in a temporary room while the room they wanted for me was being cleaned/occupied. my mom and aunt had already left to go sleep as it was late.

I was completely bed-ridden. I could not even pull myself up, I just lied on my back that was all I could do. I had several IV's, including one in my neck.

for the neck IV they administered an antibiotic drip right before the nurse left. I started to fall asleep right when the stupid IV started to beep. I can't move and I can see the stupid call button resting on the side table across from me. they also have call buttons on the beds, I push and push but they don't work.

luckily my door was open, I saw two women outside talking and desperately tried to get their attention. they looked at me and ignored me. I finally got angry with them saying "I KNOW you hear me," and then one of them finally came in as I started to cry from being completely helpless and ignored. the one woman claimed she wasn't a nurse and that the button was on the bed. I was like "it DOESN'T WORK!"

finally some nurses came in to help me and I just couldn't stop crying. when they moved me into another room I was still crying. I cried myself to sleep. the stress of everything I just went through finally had caught up to me because those two women ignored me. it was something incredibly small piled onto enormous pile of bullshit that eventually the dam had to break, you know?