Hello,

Glad to see there are people willing to specialise in this field. Resources for the victim (or as they prefer to reframe, 'survivor') can indeed give important insight. I approach your question as a survivor, who is not a trained therapist, but who reads a lot of academic literature as a result of own psychotherapy.

There has been a great deal of work from the professional point of view which resonates with the survivor but which may be hard to empathise with from the ivory tower. Those which I have felt most applicable are Christine Sanderson's book, particularly on the disintegration anxiety front, Muller's work on trauma and the avoidant client, and Davies and Frawley on transference and countertransference. Rapport is one of the most important parts, as the building of trust facilitates disclosure. Disclosure itself is tricky as it depends on the client. Insisting too early that abuse may be in their past can cause them to run a mile. They may also disclose "prematurely" thinking that the work is done - recreating the desire to rush through treatment without feelings as per the abuse. I did both. My psychologist is, from my perspective, currently at the stage of dismissing parent / complicit in my avoidance. Even though he mentioned it by name early. You need to, after disclosure, identify it by name and what it was, and pick up on hints or references back to it, acknowledge it, without dictating that sessions go in that direction - even just the opportunity to discuss it can be therapeutic. We have found that discussing my block on discussing it aids reconnection with feelings.

As a client who is frustrating her psychologist currently, I understand his attempts at juggling all of this - it's very hard and can put one in a bind. Perhaps similar to that which the patient feels him or herself to be in. But no amount of academic literature can train you into being someone who listens intently - indeed, all of the bureaucratic obstacles that come with being "a therapist" can disconnect you from the client. But I say that as a client, with a psychologist I care about deeply, who was a bureaucrat in his former iteration. So I don't believe he "knows" fully. I appreciate that he is trying.

The oddest obstacle is taking control of your treatment. I don't know what to do with being empowered in this way.