Throwaway time, even though I'm late to the party.

In my younger days I would frequent these all the time. But not the kind most of the people in this thread are describing.

You know those seedy-looking porn shops that advertise things like "private booths" or "arcade rooms"? Those are codes for "men: meet here for anonymous sex!". Most will have multiple closet-sized "rooms" equipped with a video player. Sometimes there's a door, sometimes not, but there's always one or more glory holes.

I would frequent these places several times a month. Sometimes several times a week. I'd be the giver or receiver. Almost always men (I'm a man). Anything and everything. Sometimes with no condom. The rush I got was indescribable! I don't know if anything else compares but I never felt that rush doing anything else. I'd be in a trance. Sometimes I'd take vacations just to check out the local adult bookstore scene.

This would be followed by weeks of crippling anxiety and fear of HIV. Guess what makes a great way to break that anxiety? Yep - the rush of going back. The cycle went on for years.

I never considered myself gay until this started. When it did, I thought "oh. guess I'm bi now."

Many many years later I realized I was dealing (in a very unhealthy way) with a lot of childhood trauma. I'm now working with an amazing therapist and haven't been down that road in years. But the temptation is strong. When I travel on business I struggle not to go to the local ABS. I know why it's a bad choice for me but my body is screaming at me to go.

Not everyone who does glory holes is the same as me. For many it can be a healthy part of normal sexual exploration. Is it honestly any more dangerous than picking someone up at a bar or party? But for me this was a very unhealthy way of self-medicating for my trauma.