I know that this is not nessisarily the the nature of this post, but I have a 'greatest' fantasy story that I had to share. Apperently I can't post to the main page because I don't have enough karma. Anyway, my years of playing fantasy football, last night I had my greatest fantasy football moment ever:
I would hate to be my opponent right now - or - Thank you Eli Manning
Going into Monday Night Football tonight, I found my 5-0 record in jeapordy. My team, team 'Smokin a Bowe, Drinkin a Forte' had a 131-129 lead over my opponent with 0 players left to play. My opponent on the other hand, still had New York Giants kicker Josh Brown to play. All day long I dwelt on the fact that in order for me to win, the Giants could score no more that one touchdown and not make a single field goal. I found my perfect record resting on the defense of the Philadelphia Eagles. The odds felt as though they were towering over me.
The game begins. I sit down to watch, holding tightly to the last shreds of hope that remained to me. My hope is instaltly dashed by a Giants touchdown on their opening drive. My lead has now closed to 131-130 with the PAT. There is an entire game left to play.
As the game progressed, I realize that my faith should not be placed in the fragile defense of the Philadelphia Eagles, buy rather in Eli Manning's ability to fuck up. 'Suck that dick Eli Manning' I said to myself, over and over again. 'Suck that fat dick like an overly eager chubby girl after a party.'
Opportunities came for the Giants. With each opportunity, my blood preasure raised slightly higher and higher. But with each opportunity, I repeated 'suck that dick Eli Manning' and with each opportunity he did. Half time begins. Still just one touchdown for the Giants. The third quarter, still nothing. The forth quarter begins and my hope rises. The Eagles have scored enough that a field goal seems unlikely; the Giants needed touchdowns. Time is ticking away. Even if the Giants get into the end zone, I can still tie! I doubt the Eagles can go all game without allowing another score. I can settle for a tie. Its not as pretty as 6-0, but its better than 5-1. 'Just keep sucking that dick Eli Manning.' Eli Manning, I asked and you delivered. Thank you for hearing my plea and keeping team Smokin a Bowe, Drinking a Forte undefeated with a 131-130 victory!