You think you're hot shit and some wire whisperer after hitting once early on and receiving praise from a peer.
You sit there with this inflated head spinning whatever affirmations and self validated reasonings behind starting some shitty play, not because it was the last play to make and it's a hail mary, but to stroke that ego and chase the fantasy dragon.
You got to this seed. You scored that much. You can flex on the league for zero reason, nobody would notice or care who you play and you know it, but you want to feel exclusive again.
...
You wake Sunday with a raging hard on, and a light buzz from the anticipation of endorphins about to flood that fantasy beautiful mind you possess. You begin to feel uneasy after having RedZone on for 10 minutes without seeing your player. You decide to check lineup even though you told yourself you wouldn't until after workout. You see Kendall Hinton's score is -1.2 . You remind yourself just how stupid you are as all of the other options you had scored on the opening drive. You notice one of them has 2 scores somehow wtf. You decide not to focus on what could have been, but what is. You return to lineup. You see Kendall Hinton's score is now -3.2. You blow off the workout. You order 2 pizzas so that you won't have to do shit later. You sit embarrassed as the games play on and you lose by a few pts. You then start spinning again. You didn't lose just because you chose to play a practice squad wideout at QB, you lost because the rest of your team couldn't collectively make up the 4 points to beat the opponent, not because of Kendall Hinton's negative score for the week. You notice opponents dst scored twice, what a fluke you think. You lost because something else happened out of your control. You feel the high start buzzing again. You scour the wire with redemption on the mind. You have Josh Allen there's no need to even glance at qbs. You already got cute with Kendall during bye, you should move on and get back on track. You don't. You instead grab a one-time XFL starter who just got signed off the street and given the keys to a terrible team. You play that QB over Josh Allen. You tell yourself that you are the god damn man and driving engine behind your fantasy success. You lose again. You fall multiple seeds. You don't win your league. You decide to keep it simple and quit it with unnecessary tinkering. You feel better overall as a person. You enjoy a Sunday because it's nice out.
....
You reflect back and chuckle at how fantasy thirsty you used to be. You take a deep breath and feel proud. You take a shit. You randomly scroll through this years matchups, and you see in week 2 that Kyle fucking Phillips was flexed on your team. You hardly remember the name. You wonder how tf things went sideways so quick. You realize the old you isn't you then, it's you now living out the time being reflected on by your future self. You begin to question time space fantasy continuum. You remember you aren't fantasy smart enough to ever get the answer. You give lineup a peak. You add Malik Willis.