When I was around your age and into my 20s, I found myself saying yes to sexual activity before I was ready. It wasn't forced by them or anything. More like I enjoyed cuddling and making out but sometimes gave in to going further out of guilt. And that'd leave me feeling numb.

I'm in my 30s now and with someone who can tell if I'm just going through the motions and will stop and check in with me. He wants me to be genuinely enthusiastic and if I'm not we don't continue. That's how it should be. Enthusiastic consent is exactly that - you should both be enthusiastic. If not, don't push yourself. It leads to resentment.

A good partner will be patient and someone you can talk to about these things. Anyone unwilling to do either is not someone mature enough to have sex with. Typed this out quickly hope it makes sense.