I got busted on our first anniversary checking out a woman who didn't look like she had panties on under her yoga pants and I could see everything from the front.

I've been in similar situations where my girlfriend caught me looking at other women dressed provocatively. I sort of just throw my arms up in the air and say "Well I'm sorry!!" and they're upset but they kind of laugh it off because they understand.

I started masturbating again, which we agreed we wouldn't do

It sounds like this was your wife's decision and you went along with it. She sounds very insecure and controlling. Masturbation is normal and most couples agree it isn't cheating.

Third, I masturbated and felt super guilty about it so I told her upfront.

Instead of apologizing you should try communicating. Tell her you wouldn't have to resort to masturbation if you actually had a sex life.

So here's my opinion, you asked for me and I'll give it.

1) She's just not attracted to you. Maybe she finds your anxiety annoying, maybe she doesn't like that you're spineless pushover who doesn't stand up for himself. Maybe you leave the toilet seat up and dirty dishes in the sink. Whatever it is, she's not attracted to you anymore and you need to better yourself.

2) Probably don't want to hear this possibility but she may be having an affair. When one person in a relationship is never interested in sex, oftentimes they are getting it somewhere else.

At any rate, this sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. Your wife sounds controlling and secure, and you sound like a spineless pushover.

The best thing you can do at this point is try communicating with your wife that you have needs and ask her why she's not attracted to you anymore or interested in having sex.