Help with sorority bonding

Wow, yeah ouch. That comment was really harsh, I'm sorry but it would be nicer if you didn't assume right away that I'm a huge bitch please.

What happened was, my big was sleeping with my best guy friend, who is kind of a player I guess. My big is kind of notorious for sleeping around too and she's very proud of it, she talks about her escapades all the time gleefully. Anyway, I was at a party one night and I was really sad about some stuff, and the guy in question was comforting me and said we should take shots.

I got way too drunk and he started being cuddly with me and following me around when I walked around the house and then he invited me into his room to watch one of my favorite movies. I honestly thought that was all we were going to do, I thought we were just going into his room because it was loud outside, but obviously that wasn't what happened. I was just too drunk to realize what was going on. I fully accept the responsibility for being a stupid person and drinking too much and I know that was terrible but it wasn't like I was the only person messing up.

We slept together but we never actually had sex, to this day I don't remember getting into that bed and I literally planned out my suicide after the whole event happened. I felt that bad. I had anxiety attacks like crazy and failed a bunch of classes. I told my big I didn't expect her to forgive me and I know how horrible that all was and I don't blame her if she never wants to talk to me again, but I just want her to know I would work my hardest to become a better sister and a better friend.

She went crazy, made all her friends never to talk to me, and forgave the GUY, but not me. That guy and her are best friends again but she won't even let the president of our sorority talk to me. I don't expect to be forgiven I just want to be able to BE AROUND my sorority without feeling like someone's going to strangle me! It's been four whole months!!!

/r/Sororities Thread