Just keep putting yourself out there.

At first I wanted to give up because socializing was so uncomfortable and painful for me. Plus, anyone I'd meet I wouldn't really form relationships with because of not being able to relate to them.

And I did give up, for a few years. But the isolation was too much for me. Last year, I tried to commit suicide several times. I didn't have anyone to talk to for such a long time and I wanted to die. After going in and out of the hospital so many times, I told myself that I'm going to kill myself on my birthday this year without failing.

For some reason, setting a time and making myself wait has made me start taking more risks in life. I said yes to every invitation. I bought a lot of different instruments to dick around with. And I approached people. I was able to brush of me being awkward because I'm going to die anyway. If I stuttered or turned beet red, or started trembling, I didn't worry about it later at night. That's how I was able to gave the same people again the next day.

Another thing that was essential for me was to not think about my depression. I have a lot of emotional pain in my life and I spent most of it thinking about myself and how much I was hurting. This time around, whenever I'm outside I try to imagine what the other person is feeling and what it's like to be them. I related to people more easily. Even with people I used to find annoying, I found reason to empathise and care about them. I stopped holding grudges. That waitress who scowled at me as I gave my order? That person that wouldn't let me talk when I tried answering her question? I let it go. I used to get so caught up with that stuff for weeks.

So yeah, things might not be good for you now, or you might feel like it will never change. That could be true, but it's really up to you. The only thing that has changed in my life is me.

That's all I have to say about that.