I had a parakeet when I was 13. I took him out of the cage and let him sit on my finger, and gently pet him with one finger across his head a couple times. on the third or fourth time petting him, he decided to bite the ever-loving shit out of my finger. This motherfucker chomped down with the fury of God behind the power of his jaws. He instantly pierced my flesh and had a good 1/2 inch of severed skin in his beak, and tugged at it to try to separate it from the rest of my hand. This went on for about two full minutes before I decided to use my other hand to get him off of me. Pulling him off didn't loosen his grip at all, so it only exasperated the pain and caused me to stretch whatever flesh that was connected between my hand and the skin in the bird's mouth.. I decided to flick the bird in the face with my pointer finger while obtaining tension with my thumb. After a few flicks, the parakeet let go and I had two gaping wounds on my hand from the upper and lower parts of the beak.

The next day, my mother goes to feed the bird and starts screaming how his beak is broken. She comes to my room and starts beating the shit out of me without any explanation, even though I heard the screams and anticipated the beatdown.

TLDR; Got my ass kicked twice because of a parakeet. Fuck birds.