Well, first of all, please notice my comment above where I indicated I am not saying you have a personality disorder.

Then, you mention that personality disorders are permanent. This is bullshit. The myth that personality disorders (PDs) are "incurable" comes from the psychiatric community which hasn't found the PD pill. So they used to lump PDs into what we called Axis II - incurable. With most recent revision of our diagnosis manual, the DSM, the psychiatric community did away with Axis II, lumping it in with Axis I, thus admitting (silently) that it is in fact "curable", just with proper psychotherapy, not the right pill. So there's that.

Then, I go back to what I said- I am not saying you have a personality disorder. ALL mental "illness" occurs on a spectrum. I don't know you. I don't know your therapist. I'd guess s/he's fairly progressive if s/he's throwing C-PTSD out there. THen again, s/he's giving you a diagnosis which doesn't seem to be beneficial to you and your progress given that you are all in a titter and on here asking about it.

But all occurs on a spectrum, so one way to think about the spectrum: Fully functional <-> C-PTSD <-> PD.

I'd say 90% of my clients (and myself included) suffer from some sort of C-PTSD, or in other terms, arrested development. We didn't get perfect parenting, no one does. So we suffer a little in that area. Some suffer a lot. That's life. That's the human condition. We are not perfect. We all have a growing edge, room for continual evolution and development. Every single fucking one of us.

And here's the gig. Your SO, the one that made you go in for therapy, s/he's no saint either. We tend to attract people who are at or near the same developmental growth level as us. We tend to display that developmental stage in very different ways, but we tend to be at or near the same level. So if s/he's there pointing the finger at you, saying you have a disorder, then s/he may be missing the fact s/he has some shit going on as well, but isn't able to deal with it. It's always easier to blame the other, that to deal with our own shit. Happens all the fucking time.

And if s/he dumps you then maybe you deserve better.

Allow yourself to be sensitive. Sensitivity is a gift. Learn to navigate the world as a sensitive person. The idea that we must be "strong" is complete bullshit. Be courageous. Take risks. Learn to dare. Learn to be vulnerable in your sensitivity.

And yes. I may be a little buzzed right now.