I think that people who are too busy being polite to each other are unwittingly denying each other's right to be themselves or practice self care.

Find people who don't demand reasons for everything you do. Stop giving reasons. When you gotta go, just say you gotta go. If you can't make it, say you can't. If you want to get invited again though, be sure to communicate that interest. I value people that respect consent and personal autonomy so this turns out to be a great filter for me. people can ask for reasons but I don't have to elaborate for their sake. If that makes them upset that is their problem. Conversely, don't demand or expect such things from others. This is how you find people on the same wavelength. Curbing expectations is hard because we were raised differently, but it's worth it to practice.

Nowadays I honestly appreciate people more who I see actively trying to take care of themselves. I know these are people I never have to worry about, because they aren't ever going to make me responsible for how they feel, or what they do. I don't want people to be curious about me out of politeness or some other motivation, I want them to be genuinely interested in me. I don't want people to try to manage my own feelings, I want them to care about how I'm feeling. I don't want people who do things for me because they think they should. Ect... I could go on, but I think this way of thinking about stuff is just counter intuitive for us since we were raised to normalize transactional relationships. Politeness is advantageous to abusers, they have no way to hide in authentic relationships because they are authentic assholes.

My two cents anyway.