Damn, I skimmed through a bunch of comments and can’t believe not many real detailed answers, butt (lol) here’s mine for you.

In one of your comments you said you have some particularly long-ass hair (lol) (just realizing now lol in parenthesis looks like a butthole).

So, the first thing you’re gonna want to do is get yourself some electric sheers (preferably a plug-in version...this isn’t a face we’re dealing with...it’s your ass), a mirror and a vacuum.

Next, you’ll need a space that’s well-lit and easy to clean up that filthy ass hair. I prefer the bathroom, but maybe you have another room that has tile/pergola/linoleum flooring, that’s makes for easy cleanup by said vacuum.

Finally, plug that bitch in a start shaving away. *Note, and this is important- make sure your sheers has length settings or clips. Don’t come out of the gates thinking you’re gonna shave your ass back into a little boy’s ass. Your ass is a man’s ass. A man’s ass that grows hair. Endlessly. A lot of people make the mistake of going too low to start, and wind up having an itchy uncomfortable man ass. This is the most itchy and uncomfortable of all human asses.

So, start out with a 3-clip and see how your ass takes to it, If you’re good with 3, press your luck with a 2. The thing is, you really won’t know until your ass hair violently grows back (and it will), so give it a week or so to see how your ass adjusts to it new doo (lol)

Good luck.