I got an emergency therapy appointment the very next morning and cried through it. I had another appointment this week and we are just slowly starting to work through everything. I'm so glad I have that resource available. Waking up to guns in your face and being escorted out of your home in nothing more than a night shirt is, uh, a lot. I haven't slept soundly since and I'm not sure I will for a long while.

I'm young-ish. 36. I don't think anyone is dumb for staying if that's what they want. I'm just thinking about the life I want to lead, the things I want to do, etc. and realizing I would have to give up literally everything and that's a hard pill to swallow for me. But I love him and took vows that I take seriously, so there is guilt for me to even think about leaving.

Oh, yeah, the evidence in the warrant is bad. Like, "how could I ever let this person touch me again and not want a scalding shower" bad. At the very least, if we don't stay together marriage-wise, I'd still like to be a support for him if he serves time, and I think he likely will.

My husband's bond is $500k, and they're asking for 15%. It is mind boggling!