Oh, dear one. My heart aches for you. I have moved states many times in my adult life, and finding friends - good friends - in new cities only gets more difficult with age.

I'm not telling you anything you don't already know when I say that John behaves in reckless and manipulative ways. He knew what he was doing the whole time. Saying you and Amanda should "hang out"... he had his eyes on the group sex fantasy the whole time. He didn't want you women to be friends; he wanted to fuck you at the same time.

John sees "unicorn!" and forgets they are human beings.

This is why I hate the concept of unicorn hunting - too often, the third is used without care and discarded once the fantasy has played out in the bedroom.

I'm sorry you're hurting. Grieve. Find some group activity or class where you can meet new people in your new city... people who will like and then love you as a dear friend.