I'm a 26 year-old man who suffers from Borderline, Paranoid, and Schizotypal Personality Disorders, as well as Obsessive-Compulsive and Body Dysmoprhic Disorder (all officially diagnosed). I've also lost 180 pounds. AMA?

How does your symptoms affect your daily life?

A good example is that your last question gives me a strong suspicion that you know me personally and are looking for proof to confirm it. Completely unfounded, but the intuition feels very convincing.

Otherwise, it's pretty pervasive.

Borderline: My life is an emotional rollercoaster. I'm very sensitive and always on the lookout for threats or aggressors. I worry constantly that my girlfriend is planning to leave me.

Paranoid: I think my coworkers are trying to look at my computer screen every time they walk by. I assume the people that walk in the door are staring at me. I often think people might be following me, and every time I walk behind someone I'm sure they think I'm following them (often making me switch routes to keep them from thinking this). I constantly find myself wondering if my girlfriend is cheating on me, and get suspicious about tiny little things that mean nothing in hindsight. I've got mountains of credit debt (impulsive spending) and I eat terribly (impulsive eating), but manage to stay afloat thanks to intervening periods of clarity/exercise.

Schizotypal: A particular number pops up in my life a lot (illusion/idea of reference), and it has influenced mulitple major life decisions. I also believe that God communicates with me through things in the world, especially odd coincidences (magical thinking). I used to think I could read minds if only I knew how to unlock the power.

OCD: My brain basically hates me--it forces me to picture disgusting people naked, or to wonder very unpleasant things about myself (e.g., makes me consider the possibility that I'm gay, a pedophile, a serial killer, etc. over and over again). When I was a teenager, I would lie awake at night repeating "the Devil is Evil, Jesus is Lord" in order to stave off the inevitable appearance of Satan in my room.

Body Dysmorphia: I wear black as often as possible to cover my stomach; I wear my coat in-doors because it disguises my gut. I look in the mirror and feel hatred and disgust for myself, in spite of looking better now than I have in years. I was told just yesterday that I'm "hot" by a stranger, but looking in the mirror this morning I wanted to punch myself for how I've "slipped" recently.

My normal day is fairly normal. I'm high-functioning, so I have a job and a girlfriend. I don't have any friends outside my family, and I play video games (WoW being the primary one). Fortunately for me, most of my symptoms are inside my head, and I'm lucid enough to see when I'm being crazy... unfortunately, that doesn't stop the craziness from happening, it just stops it from getting beyond my forehead.

/r/casualiama Thread