How are your bonuses determined as a consultant?

My Big Four had offered to acquire a mid-tier player in the industry. You likely have heard of this lil firm.

Indeed, the partners of said lil firm had already voted to accept the nine-figure deal from my Big Four. My Big Four partner actively worked on this deal. Internally, it was said this deal was the keystone of his "legacy."

Not on my watch.

Sometimes junior people get drunk. That's unfortunate because they also don't know when to shut the fuck up. And that's doubly unfortunate when they drunkenly blab to their fraternity brother who writes for a minor, hyper-local publication known as The Wall Street Journal.

"Bro, why does this street have its own newspaper?"

But rest assured my assault on this C-level executive was very MECE. After drumming up some external WSJ drama, I then decided to "catch up" with members of my b-school network who worked at the to-be-acquired firm. Like, I'm a bro, and I wanted them to know what (1) I received a bonus of $0 while simultaneously getting ranked in the top 10%, and (2) my Big Four generally demoted people who came to us via acquisition (this was, after all, the idea I pitched to the C-suite). I also had b-school contacts at the to-be-acquired firm's clients..... many fun discussions were had!

Anyway, the nine-figure acquisition mysteriously fell through within a week of my chat with the WSJ. The partners at the to-be-acquired firm held a re-vote in which they rejected the acquisition offer from this Big Four overlord.

Chapter two of this villain origin story? I went to Harvard Business School with the CEO's son. Chapter three? Some HR muppet sent sent me compensation details for several hundred thousand employees, including the CEO.

So what's the moral of this story? If you you are a Big Four partner, do not fuck over your psychopaths, specifically your HSW psychopaths. Yes, I could have easily moved on.... but I got much more enjoyment staying around and getting paid below-market..... so that I could tank your 40-year "legacy" as a Big Four C-level executive.

/r/consulting Thread Parent