I've been thinking about this a lot, so it may be a wall of text.
A,
I miss talking with you, we just grew apart. I can still hear your voice sometimes. This one is short and sweet: I love you, not like attraction, but like, you gave my life meaning for a bit and helped me stay sane. For that I can never repay you.
P.s. I wish I could've protected you then.
B,
Pretty similar, you saved me more times than you know. I always liked you and I wish I would've seized the opportunity to tell you when I had the chance. Then again, who am I kidding? You were always way out of my league. I was the kid nobody liked, and you were the most popular person around. I was stuck with my head in the clouds, and you were filling your resume. But I will admit, I used to tell you a joke everyday for those three years just because I loved to see you smile. Sometimes that was the only reason I wanted to see the next day.
C,
You were the first person I liked, and I you. I'm sorry your parents couldn't see I was a good person. I still cant believe they were so nice to me, but filling your mind with toxic ideas of me. I'm glad you always saw through it. Or at least I thought you did. I wish we still talked more, but I'm just so stinking busy lately, and I've dropped the ball. Im still sad I made you mad, and still angry you did that though. As mad as I was, I've forgiven it. I'm sorry I acted so horrible.
D,
I wish we talked more, I've missed you since you went away. There's so many questions I've had and so many tips I could've used that you weren't there for me for. I don't blame you, as watsky said, when the standing waters putrid, who am I to say a move you made was stupid.
Ps, no but in all seriousness, I hope you come back soon.
E,
I told you everything, you were my everything. I thought I was yours. You lied. It's so pathetic, I hate you so much, but I still miss you. I miss your voice and your laugh, I miss the way how we'd always hang out and I miss the fact that we could talk all day and I wouldn't get bored. But it's over now, it's not coming back. Thanks to you, that old me is dead and gone. Is it sad? Yes, but it's a sadness I choose.
And last but not least, F,
It's almost been 5 years. Me and you were alike. I remember sitting at grandma and grandpa's and you showing me that truck you drew when you were 4. I remember at the Christmas party all my family was pickin on me and I sat next to you crying, and you looked at me and said. "They aren't like me and you, we're different, we see people for who they are. And they just don't see youre such a caring and nice person." You always had a way of picking up the pieces when I needed it most.
I still remember I was on my way to see you when we got the call. Dad was so angry. I cried. I cried for what must've been hours.
I was too young to understand those long words. All I knew was you left. Some refused to believe youd pack up and leave one night without even saying goodbye.
I was so mad, I didn't wanna be like you, when the going got tough, you left. On the anniversary I wanted to leave and find you, wherever you went.
They still think you were a coward, but I think you were brave. I couldn't have done it. It's been almost 5 years and it still doesn't seem real. I wonder was it you, or the voices that did it? When you did it, did you feel happy, or as the blood released did you think you could've fixed the problems?
It's been 5 years F, and Ive just come to terms I couldn't have stopped you from killing yourself.
Ps I wanna find that drawing, wherever it is, it's the last thing we talked about together, and I miss it because I miss you.