I've never felt relaxed in my life

If you have constant anxiety all the time, than is pretty likely you are suffering from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) along your Panic Disorder. There are fortunately highly effective medications for the treatment of this conditions and they can provide both acute and long term relief. Here are some of them:

Monoamine Oxidase Inhibitors (MAOI's):

"MAOIs (moclobemide, isocarboxazid, phenelzine, tranylcypromine, and selegiline) can be effective in treating social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Among the MAOIs, phenelzine as an antianxiety agent has been studied the most, and data support its efficacy in the treatment of PTSD. In panic disorder, phenelzine has been shown to block panic attacks and may be slightly more effective than other pharmacological agents in treating agoraphobia associated with the illness. In PTSD, phenelzine may be particularly beneficial in treating intrusive symptoms, such as distressing dreams or recollections of the traumatic event. MAOIs increase synaptic norepinephrine, serotonin, and dopamine by inhibiting the enzyme MAO from metabolizing these monoamine transmitters. Adverse effects include orthostatic hypotension, weight gain, sexual dysfunction, edema, and insomnia. A life-threatening adverse reaction is hypertensive crisis, the risk of which is elevated when patients ingest tyramine-containing foods or pressor drugs. Tyramine-containing foods include certain cheeses, red wine and beer, processed meats, pickled fish, fava beans, sour cream, and avocado. Stimulants and sympathomimetics, including nasal decongestants containing pseudoephedrine, can cause hypertensive crisis if they are taken with MAOIs. Owing to the MAO inhibition in the gut, pressor substances are free to enter the systemic circulation, which can result in a sharp increase in blood pressure; clinical symptoms may include severe headache, flushing, palpitations, sweating, and nausea and vomiting. A hypermetabolic crisis, sometimes called the serotonin syndrome, can also occur when patients on MAOIs ingest another agent that can increase serotonin levels in the brain. Such agents include meperidine, SSRIs, and some TCAs, especially clomipramine. Besides being potentially life threatening, the syndrome may present with autonomic instability, hyperthermia, rigidity, myoclonus, altered consciousness, and seizures. Although MAOIs are a safe, efficacious, and inexpensive class of drugs, patients on these medications must have the ability to adhere to strict dietary and medication restrictions to avoid a hypertensive or hypermetabolic crisis. An overdose of MAOI is extremely dangerous and symptoms may take up to 12 h to appear. Intoxication is characterized by a phase of agitation and autonomic excitation, which may result in rhabdomyolysis and renal failure. The symptoms may then progress to CNS depression, coma, cardiovascular collapse, and death. Selegiline is an exception. It is a MAO-B inhibitor and is prescribed as a transdermal patch. It is primarily used to treat major depressive disorder. The transdermal delivery allows for targeted inhibition of CNS MAO-A and MAO-B isoenzymes with minimal effect on MAO-A in the gut wall and hepatic systems, resulting in a decreased risk of interactions with foods that contain tyramine." https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/moclobemide

Pregabalin and Gabapentin (Gabapentinoids) [MoA: VGCC Inhibitors] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25361817 / https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10440462/ https://www.drugs.com/comments/pregabalin/for-generalized-anxiety-disorder.html

/r/Anxietyhelp Thread