Settle in. Here goes:
Mid-season, the retiring high school wrestling coach was confiding with his best wrestler, "Son, this is my last year in this wonderful sport of wrestling. I've come close, but I've never won a State Championship title. That would mean so much to me. You're my best, last chance at achieving this dream. I really, really think you're the one who can do that for me - for us."
The boy could feel how much it meant to his coach and vowed to the coach that he would do anything to win State for him. "Okay, Coach. I'll get that championship no matter how hard I have to work for it."
The coach says, "I thank you so, so much for your dedication and sincerity, Son, but I have to tell you about the boy on the next district. He's undefeated. He has what he calls a 'Pretzel Hold' and will twist his opponent around so much till the pain is just too much and they've all had to tap out. Let's hope you don't have to go up against him in the finals."
"Okay, coach. I'll practice every day on staying out of The Pretzel Hold. I won't disappoint you."
His boy is doing great throughout the season. As they get to the State Finals, sure enough - his boy has to fight the kid with The Pretzel Hold.
Before the final match, in the locker room, the coach tells the boy, "Well, this is it, Son. 'We win this one, and we have that State Championship trophy. You'll make me so proud if you win this one last match. But, to win it, remember - you'll have to stay out of The Pretzel Hold."
"Okay, Coach. I'm going to win this one. I'm going to win it for you. You'll see."
The match is going great. The crowd is cheering for his boy all the way. He's doing great staying away from The Pretzel Hold. It looks like this could actually be the year. "Finally", he thought. "Is this it? Is this the year?"
When all the sudden - Wham! Bam! Oh no! His boy got caught in The Pretzel Hold. The "oohs" and moans from the crowd told the story. No one has ever gotten out of The Pretzel Hold.
The coach puts his head in his hands, tears came to his eyes and he thought, "Oh no. This is it. I'll never get that trophy." He thinks how hard they'd worked all season and how close he and his boy came to getting it when all of the sudden her hears another, "Wham! Bam!" and the crowd going wild.
He looks up and sees that his boy has his opponent down and has won the match! He actually won the match! They won the State Championship! The only person to ever beat kid with The Pretzel Hold!
Afterwards, in the locker room, filled with emotion and tears, the coach tells the boy that he's so proud of him and asks him, "Son, no one has ever gotten out of The Pretzel Hold. How on earth did you do it?"
"Well, Coach, I was doing everything I could to stay out of The Pretzel Hold, but then, he got me. He got me in The Pretzel Hold.
I knew how how hard we've worked at staying out of The Pretzel Hold - and how much this championship meant to you. When he got me in The Pretzel Hold, he had me twisted around so much and it was hurting so much, I just had to man up and do whatever it took to get out of it.
I opened my eyes and saw a set of balls. I just had to, Coach. I had to bite 'em.
And you don't know how much of a man you are a until you bite your own balls!"