I would rather prefer to explain the theory of relativity or gita-rahasya to you.

On a serious note though, there are lots of small things one can do and you will get as many answers as there are husbands.

However, there is one specific thing which is more important than anything else and has served me well in reducing the friction and in generally having an amiable atmosphere at home. This might sound a very simple thing to follow and probably intuitive too, especially to the unmarried, but it took me years to internalise it after my sister drilled it into my head.

The guru-mantra is - Stay the fuck out of their arguments, fights, cold-war, sarcasm, taunts or whatever it is depending upon the family.

In my case it was a case of small arguments between wifey and mom (of the kind you forget in half an hour), which would transform into much bigger issues lasting over days due to the contribution of yours truly (this I say with the benefit of hindsight). I used to think that with my intelligence and position, I am mediating like a mature person that I am. But from their perspective, I was representing the other side.

Once I started staying out of such situations, suddenly the arguments went away. They both probably weren't as much pissed of with each other as with the thought of me taking the other side (and like a good mediator I used to take sides, sometimes wife and sometimes mom. What an idiocy!!).

The other thing is don't feel bad if you hear not so great opinion and words about you mom from you wife and vice versa. Don't think that your wife gave you maa ki gaali if she says something less than courteous about your mom. Same thing when your mom says something about the wife. Just hear it and forget it (they just want audience and not any action from you).

To reiterate, do not interfere (barring extra ordinary circumstances). Let them be. Let them have an independent relationship.