Okay, I think my actions were misunderstood here. I didn't really do anything last night... I just didn't go to the party I was never invited to? Claire showed up by herself because Gus told her to come along, and only then she mentioned she was with me. She never said I was going to come, and while Gus didn't seem to have any problem with me going also, I was never explicitly invited either. Claire was. That on top of me being told that I was going to be spoken with at a later point in time warrants no apology. Not answering two calls at 2 AM because I was exhausted and wasted and not in a mood to talk warrants no apology because I didn't do anything wrong.
No one knows why I didn't go to the party, and all he can do is assume until he talks to me. And, don't get me wrong, I am not talking about blame here, as I think it was nobody's fault, I just don't think I should apologize for not going to a party I wasn't even told to go to? Who did I wrong/hurt?
I gave him a call, and received no response, as to which point I deleted his number and am planning to move on with my life. As I said above, if he calls back I'd be happy to talk, and if not, it's whatever. We live and learn.
On regards to the opening statements. Okay, so I dwell a lot. Whenever it comes to boys I am very confused and awkward and just generally bad at approaching situations. Especially when it comes to me feeling like they are losing interest. I start feeling ashamed and anxious and wondering if I did something wrong, so I get extremely nervous and flustered about reaching out to people. I try it a few times and then when I see that I'm basically the only one keeping the relationship alive, I still do it even if it makes me anxious, and never talk about what worries me in the first place--the lack of interest. But I am never the person that ends the relationship, or the communication in the relationship. I'm always open until the very end. That's what I meant. I don't "fade" on people and I struggle a lot with the concept of ambiguity. So, yeah, I agree with you, I do have plenty of growing up to do!