I left out some details because I didn't think people would respond if I typed a lot. So I will add some more details and address your points.
Yes I know its the stereotypical asian thing, coupled with him growing up always poor. But I feel like we came so far since 25 years ago. All his kids are successful and are financially independent now since I am the youngest. He has health issues, and him constantly worrying about money when money isn't an issue is something I want him to change.
Yes I fully acknowledge hitting him was wrong. I am not justifying it, but I reacted that way because its so frustrating talking to him because he stubborn. I'll elaborate on this some more. 2 days ago he was yelling about my sisters always coming to pick up there kids and not closing the door immediately. I asked him what his problem was with it calmly and he responded with something a long the lines of "This is my house!!! and they dont respect me". I told him hes never calmly expressed how he felt to them about this issue, and he just got quiet. Then today, he complained that the kids "Close the door to strongly". I just lost it. ITS A DOOR. A CHILD ISN"T GOING TO BREAK A DOOR! Now imagine this petty complaining throughout your whole life against my mothers children(My half sisters) (And when I say complaining, hes yelling and screaming at my mom). Its not even like he hates my half sisters, he cooks food for them and offers it to them all the time. Hes just has terrible moodswings.
He has 500k in his retirement fund. House is paid for, cars are paid for. He knows he if he ever needs help his family has well paying jobs that can take care of him. I cannot imagine him spending 500k in his lifetime. He literally goes to food banks and takes free food, eats simple meals, wears work uniforms in the house. He has no expenses. I keep telling him get some hobbies, enjoy his life, but he seems to enjoy saving and having money the most.
So yea, his mannerisms are basically constantly yelling and screaming about petty issues that are usually targeted towards my half sisters. I am sick of hearing it, my mom is sick of hearing it.
And yes I know I have anger issues. The thing is it only comes out around him because 25 years of dealing with him just makes me lose control. Him always complaining about his house and how he never feels respected in it made me just want to damage his stupid house. Which I fully realize is not appropriate and makes me sound crazy. I wont sit here and say I'm totally innocent.