I have commented on disgusting photos you and your ilk have posted

Randomly looking at comments I've made in gay subreddits and then replying? Awh, /u/Cheebachiefer! I had no idea you wanted to make out with me behind the burned out crack den that is your home so badly! Damn you turn me on so much!

Ok, I'm mortified.

Mmmmmm... scared STIFF perhaps? Yuuum!

Nobody is stalking you

Awh, come on, pretty please? I like that you keep finding ways to comment on my things all over Reddit, it shows how much you liked me shooting my jizz all over your face last week when we 69'd!

i can go to any subreddit I please

Mmmmmmm please do you sexy minx! I look forward to it! Merow!

Now for the last time we don't have a relationship of any kind

Well not with that attitude we don't, you scoundrel! How else am I supposed to be introduced to your amputee mother and drug-addict father if you don't accept that you're more than just my bareback submissive pig bottom... you're my lover!

aren't there plenty of twinks and bears in Chicago?

There isn't anyone with as tiny a dick as you in this city... I should know, I've looked! You know I'd rather lick on that teeny tiny little nub of a penis that you have than get anywhere near anyone with a legitimate set of genetalia in Chicago or elsewhere!

Don't worry lover, I'll come over tonight and we can do that scat scene you were talking to me about... you remember, don't you? The one where I blindfold you, take several laxatives, and then shit straight into your mouth while you swallow every drop?! Fuck I'm getting so hard just thinking about it! DAMN you turn me on so much!

See you soon, stud!