This happened to me once, and only once. A big learning lesson for me.

I dated a girl while she was a d1 field hockey player in college, she was a little 5’2” ball of muscle. Deeply insecure about her b cup boobs, but she had an amazing body. I’d wake up in the middle of the night sometimes and she’d be going through my phone searching my internet history in an attempt to find the porn I was watching to see if the women had big boobs. Classic case of someone projecting their deeply rooted insecurities onto their SO and then searching for confirmation.

She woke me up once or twice by straddling me with her legs locked around my waist and slapping, punching me in the face convinced I wanted something other than her and was somehow being unfaithful. It was sad and so toxic. One time it was so bad I had to grab her by the arms just to subdue her and try to calm her down, she was in a blind state of rage and she wouldn’t quit. I never hit her or anything of the sort, but I had to grab her and hold her down so hard I guess I put a nice bruise on her shoulder. I’m not exaggerating when I say she was a little ball of muscle.

Her identical twin was putting her to bed a couple days later cause she was all drunk after partying at school, undressed her, noticed the bruise, asked her about it, she said it was from me, no other details, her father and two older brothers heard about it. If only they knew. Turns out she has a pretty decent case of bipolar disorder and wasn’t properly managing it. I gained a lot of perspective from that relationship.