all of that said, i think you need to do some self reflection on how hard you've tried up until this point. why is it so hard for you to let go of a relationship that you never had and never wanted? why are you so willing to debase yourself for these awful people?

I think it is because I have been trying to be tougher while I don't feel my husband has been doing the same. I used to be a total wimp, I wouldn't stand up to anybody - younger, older, male, female, boss, co-worker, random person on the street, didn't matter. I was too afraid. But over the past year, I'd say I've finally found my backbone and I'm working on strengthening it. When a customer gets in my face, I know I can stand up for myself (professionally) and my boss will have my back. When one of my friends got snotty with me recently, started talking down to me, I looked her right in the face and said, "No, don't do that, I can have a different opinion than you." She totally froze in silence, didn't know what to say. And when a former roommate of mine got nasty with me (for the hundredth time), I yelled such mean things at her that she ran away in tears and we haven't spoken in years. I've become more willing to call people out on their bullshit but my husband hesitates. When his mom is being ridiculous, he won't address it right away. Sometimes he won't address it at all, choosing instead to just ignore her until she reaches out to him again. But this doesn't change anything and it annoys me because, to me, it reads as acquiescence because the bad behavior continues and she suffers no ill effects.

His non-confrontational nature tugs at my old, similar nature and makes me question whether I am just being mean or not. He doesn't do this intentionally but I know him well enough that, before I even act in a given situation, I know whether he will agree or believe I'v made a mistake. And most often, he picks the path of least resistance so I doubt my own choice. He doesn't do any of thing to influence me, I'm just apparently easy to influence...