I’m still working on this, but it’s helping a lot when I’m conscious about it: being less self-critical. I’ve always been my worst critic, and constantly beat myself up over things that aren’t huge issues to other people, including clients. By trying to make everything “perfect” in my own eyes and being in fear meeting my own definition of letting people down, it really drove me into the ground.

Honestly took until a concerned client said something before I noticed it. One of them is good friends of one of my business partners, so when a close family member of mine unexpectedly passed he knew about it through the grapevine. I took one half day off when it happened, and went to an non-critical on-site scheduled the next day because of that “I need to get this done or I’m letting them down” mentality. Client saw me walk in and just said “what the hell are you doing here”. He was absolutely taken aback that I showed up after it happened, told me to go take some time for myself, and let me know in the 30+ years he’d been doing business he wish he learned sooner it was ok to take time for yourself and people are more understanding than you tell yourself.

Within reason, it’s ok to say no to people. It’s ok to have time off just to focus on you. Stick to your agreements. If an issue has a few hour response target and you’re swamped with stuff to do, don’t be afraid to follow your own rules and let the time run a little. If something breaks or stops working, no matter how critical, take a deep breath and realize that things will move on. Even if a critical production system fails, you still wake up the next day.