Damn, the few times I received encouragement from my dad, I ended up fucking something up soon after. I've experienced it so little, that maybe it gets to my head. Or maybe I don't deserve it and really I'm just acting as I always do, and it's confirmation bias.

Idk. He's actually been a little down on his luck lately, and I almost feel like I'm gushing with encouragement when I speak with him - and he doesn't seem like he even hears it. But yeah, I'd be happy to get a couple decent words.

It's weird - it's not like we're both extremely old. We should have plenty of time to understand each other and have like a heart to heart, or at least an adult conversation where we are actually truly honest like friends. I just don't know if that will happen. Might as well think positive. He's a good dude after all.