I had a friend of 5 years, actually 2. Now that I think of it they never treated me right. They used me to gain more friends, used me to develop their personalities and basically copy me and turn into a mini version of me. They were like leeches, and I always had to be the glue in the friendship. They talk behind everyone's back especially mine and they are so two faced even with each other! One of them got a new boyfriend and he was just such a mess and so toxic and I had such bad vibes from him. he changed them and everyone knew that they were bad and I had to get out of it to save myself from the friendship. We grew up together we were like besties for life type thing, I do miss the memories I do miss some of our jokes and things we used to do but only the stuff from highschool, getting into college with them was frankly boring and I was frustrated with little things they did. But I outgrew them, I didn't feel the maturity or the respect I deserved in that friendship and I knew I had to do something about it. So don't worry, I know you miss your friend but sometimes it's better to let go even if it means you're gonna be alone