I find myself to be the harshest critic out of all my listeners. It's more feedback than validation that gets me moving forward. Without it, I'll be stuck, never finishing songs.

I started in high school making ridiculous songs (some parodies and some original). At this point, I didn't care what others thought; I simply enjoyed making music (albeit looking back they were worse than amateur).

My ears for production value developed as I continued my hobby throughout college. I believe I have the ability to make things sound clean if I'm not lazy. Just that thought makes it harder for me to approve whether a song is finished or not.

Having followed my development, my friends, aspiring singers and rappers, want me to produce for them. I assume from observing their tastes that they want a something in the vein of popular artists. Sometimes they even send me songs and ask, "Can you make a beat like that?" My high school habit has made it difficult for me to create things that fit into a well-established genre. I feel like my brain is stuck in a hole where I can only come up with weird productions that will not be accepted. (Dare to search me on soundcloud.)

I send them my progress, asking, "Can you work with that?" It then becomes a constant exchange of opinions that drive it to become the product that they envisioned. It's a battle where I try to cater to his/her genre while keeping my ego in check by keeping my identity in it. Eventually, the result is a product where both parties are satisfied, and his/her validation is the greenlight for me to accept that I don't have to spend long nights on it anymore.

While this situation might be different because I am working for someone and not simply for the sake of art, I find the process to be an immensely satisfying and helpful experience as I learn to grow my audience wider than my weird hole.