Wow, this could be my own writing, our moms are so similar- down to the name-calling, hair-pulling, weird about closed/locked doors. I remember hitting back a few times, too and I still feel really guilty about it. It seems like this crazy behavior really increases when there's a boyfriend in the picture, like she would get extra jealous that I'm paying attention to someone else or something? She also had all of my friends' phone numbers and would call them and complain to them about me if I ignored her >_< cringe, I've developed a lot of social anxiety because of how often she would embarrass me like this.

ANYWAY, my life has improved 10-fold by moving out, and reducing contact. I feel like I have invincibility, because she knows she no longer has control over my life. It's so easy. She acts nutso- I stop talking to her. She knows I won't hesitate to cut her off, so she is a little bit more respectful of my boundaries (not as much as any sane person, though). But it's no longer an abusive relationship, and I can actually breathe deeply and relax in my own home, no more walking on pins and needles.

Just know this is not normal, no matter what she did for you as a child, it doesn't justify her actions. You are not indebted to her, she decided to have a kid, so it's her job to nurture and protect you, not push you to pleading with internet strangers for help. She has manipulated you into feeling guilty for wanting independence.

Other posters already have great advice on how to go about getting your important docs back, and dropping the POA. Just work on distancing yourself, move out, and make the message clear- she does not control you. Then you can think about establishing a low-contact relationship, if that is what you want.

Good luck- you have a wonderful, FREE adult life waiting for you at the other side of this BS :)